


iCan't Speak

by 1seddiefan



Category: iCarly
Genre: Drama, Hurt-Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-27
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2015-08-14 01:02:05
Rating: T
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,681
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7964885/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2267217/1seddiefan
Summary: When Freddie was thirteen, he was kidnapped. Two years later he made the world realize that he was alive with one phone call. Now Carly and Sam are trying to find out what happened to Freddie when he was kidnapped. How can they, when he won't tell anyone?





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: Slight AU. Maybe OOC.

* * *

><p>Carly was feeling guilty, again. That always happens. She always saw Freddie everywhere, him in front of the Pear Store, him in front of the skateboard park, and sometimes on cartons of milk. Freddie's favorite little hang out, when he and Sam gets into a fight. Carly ended up in one of the fights, but somehow ended up siding with Sam and then Freddie left. Carly and Sam had found Freddie's skateboard on the ground on the sidewalk. Carly was guilty. She and Sam had a fight with Freddie, but she couldn't bring herself to tell the police about their fight. The four words that Freddie had said, haunts her to that very day, two years from now. <em>I hate you both.<em>

Sam at first, didn't feel guilty with Freddie, after their fight and when Freddie had left. Sam thought Freddie would get over it, but she and Carly never expected to see Freddie's skateboard laying on the ground. Then Mrs. Benson calling Sam and Carly asking if Freddie was with one of them, the next day. That was when Sam and Carly exited the apartment, to find cops standing in the hallway talking to Mrs. Benson. That was when they both found out that Freddie had been kidnapped. Sam thought that it was Freddie's fault for getting himself kidnapped. Her words to Carly: _"The kid was probably told that his mom is the hospital and then got in the car with the kidnapper. Moron."_ Then a few weeks later Sam started to regret calling Freddie names and beating him up.

Then she regretted that Freddie couldn't help getting kidnapped, it wasn't his fault. Sam had shouted those three words. _"I hate you!"_ They fought with Freddie before he was kidnapped, they said they hated him, they never told the police about the fight, and now they're guilty for it. Sam couldn't help but think that if they never fought, Freddie wouldn't have gotten kidnapped, and she doesn't even know what they fought about anyway. Carly couldn't even remember.

* * *

><p>They've been watching the news hoping for some news on Freddie. The police don't have any leads, no body turned up, and there was no sightings of him anywhere. Carly and Sam had almost presumed him dead, until the red banner across the bottom screen caught their eye.<p>

**Breaking news: Local teen, 15 year old Freddie Benson found alive at 5:15.**

Carly and Sam realized that Freddie was found an hour ago. They both seemed to sigh in relief, for the first time in two years.

* * *

><p>AN: I know it's mostly girls who get kidnapped. Like Carly or Sam and they turn up or something. I think it's high time for the boys to get kidnapped. So here I go. I think it's Sam-like to think Freddie getting kidnapped is his fault or something. Sorry for it being confusing.


	2. Chapter 2

Carly and Sam tried to call Mrs. Benson to talk to Freddie, but she said that he wasn't ready to talk. They tried going to talk to Freddie, face to face, but Mrs. Benson told them that Freddie still wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet, especially with the reporters, trying to get in the apartment, just to question Freddie about how he escaped. Carly and Sam, mostly Sam, pounded on the door.

They both wanted to catch a glimpse of Freddie. At least a noise, maybe 'hi', or some cheesy pick up line from Freddie to Carly. But then Mrs. Benson opened the door a crack, then stepped out of the apartment, closing the door.

"Hello Carly, Sam." Mrs. Benson said, avoiding eye contact. She had blamed them for Freddie getting kidnapped.

"Hey Mrs. Benson." Carly said.

"Can we see Freddie?" Sam demanded, getting straight to the point.

"He refuses talking or seeing anyone. He only comes out of his room to eat and a quick hug. Then goes straight to his room." Mrs. Benson replied, looking down the hallway, like it was the greatest thing, since cell phones.

"Oh." Said Carly, sounding a little sad, because she couldn't see her friend, then they both went down the hallway to get to the stairs to go school.

As they exited the building, they both looked up to see a teenager, with black hair, black pants, a black shirt with a gray skull and crossbones on it, a black button down shirt that's open, over the black shirt, a black opened jacket over the button down shirt, wearing a lot of black and blue bracelets on both of his wrists, and a white skull and crossbones necklace. He was standing on the fire escape. His eyes were dead and brown. Carly and Sam had recognized him immediately. He was Freddie. That was when Freddie went back inside his apartment. One thought crossed both of their minds, at the sight of the teen in black.

_What happened to him during those two years?_ Carly and Sam thought at the same time.

* * *

><p>Carly and Sam walked down the halls of Ridgeway, hearing people talk about Freddie.<p>

"Why wait now to call?" They heard one girl ask her friend.

"I heard he was being forced into child porn by the kidnapper." They heard another girl said, and that made Carly gasp in shock.

"It's probably a rumor." Sam said, and wondered who she was trying to convince. Carly or herself?

"Yeah." Carly said and fixed her bag on her shoulder.

"Did you see the kidnapper? Her eyes freaked my parents out. And it takes a lot." A boy had said to his friends.

"I heard the reason why Freddie never called the police was because he liked her. They've been seen out together, and people thought that she was his mom." Another boy had said to his friends. It took Carly and almost the whole hallway to hold Sam back from strangling the boy.

* * *

><p>It was like that the whole day, people talking about the whole Freddie getting kidnapped thing. Rumors spreading about Freddie and his kidnapper. Rumors talking about how Freddie and his kidnapper had a thing going on. Rumors talking about Freddie and his kidnapper had a thing, then something pushed Freddie over the edge to call for help.<p>

It disgusted both Carly and Sam, respectively. How can people think up stuff like that? They don't know Freddie and what really happened to him.

* * *

><p>Carly and Sam were at Carly's apartment watching the news with Spencer. From what they've gathered on the news, is that Freddie isn't explaining what happened. He doesn't want to talk about it. His mom told them, that Freddie got back a day ago, and it'll take time for the trauma to wear off.<p>

But they did find the kidnapper, they're still pressing charges against her, and investigating her. She had pleaded innocent and is on bail for $1 million dollars in cash. There was a live video from earlier that day, were reporters was questioning Freddie. He was wearing the same clothes, that Carly and Sam saw him wearing that morning. He was struggling to close the door.

"Freddie is it true that you've romantically involved with Amelia?" A reporter asked and the look on Freddie's face was all the proof they needed. It was a look of horror and disgust.

"What the hell?" Freddie said. "Get out of my face!" Freddie managed to close the door, but someone knocked on the door and Freddie opened the door, getting questioned at once. "Go bother someone else's business!" Freddie had slammed the door shut, and the video went to black.

"Seriously. What kind of question is that?" Spencer asked. He was surprised to see Freddie wearing black.

"Is he or is he not romantically involved with the psycho?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so." Carly answered. The three of them knew that Freddie's life wouldn't be the same with what had happened to him, and that was backed up with what he was wearing.

* * *

><p>AN: If you didn't know, Amelia is the name of Freddie's kidnapper. Letting you know, in case you didn't know.


	3. Chapter 3

Carly and Sam decided that they should have a sleepover at Sam's house. They were looking up more information on the arrest of Amelia, and found out she was probably involved in the kidnapping of four other teenage boys. She was also arrested for producing child porn. The two girls couldn't handle it, and then turned off the laptop. They heard something like pebbles hitting the window, and then Carly opened the blinds to see Freddie standing there.

He was wearing a Marilyn Manson concert t-shirt, under an opened gray button down shirt, under his black jacket, blue pants, wearing his bracelets, and his white skull and crossbones necklace. His hair wasn't fluffed up anymore. Sam walked over to Carly and then Freddie waved both of them to come outside.

Sam and Carly had ran outside. They both wanted to talk to Freddie after two years, and they closed the door. The two girls looked at Freddie, taking in how much he changed.

"You changed." Was all Carly managed to say. _Really. I haven't talked to Freddie in two years and that's all I say?_ Carly thought to himself.

"What do you want nub?" Sam said and Freddie just stared at the two of them.

_Really Sam. He's been missing for two years and you still have to call him names any chance you get._ Carly thought to herself and the two of them stepped on the grass. Carly couldn't help herself, and she hugged Freddie, who stiffened. He pushed her off of him.

"Oh sorry. You must get hugged a lot." Carly said.

"I feel suffocated at home." Freddie said. "With all the reporters and my mom." Carly and Sam walked over to Freddie. "I mean, 'were you romantically involved with Am- that woman'? I mean god damn. That was disturbing." Sam and Carly nodded in agreement.

"So." Carly said.

"I appreciate it." Freddie said.

"Appreciate what?" Sam asked confused.

"That you both tried to visit me and call me." Freddie said, and shrugged. "But I don't think our friendship could be the same." Freddie looked at Carly and Sam. "I had changed."

"What are you saying?" Sam demanded.

"That we can't be friends anymore." Freddie admitted, and then turned to leave.

"Hey, wait." Sam said and he looked at her.

"What?" The teen asked.

"They found out that the woman was producing child porn." Sam said, taking a mental note of how tense Freddie seemed, when she mentioned it. "Were you part of it?" Sam looked at Freddie who looked at the ground. The blonde noticed a look in Freddie's eye. There was shame, humiliation, and fear was a brief flash of emotion in his eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it." Freddie said, and shook his head. He couldn't let them know what happened, and then he turned around, leaving. He was suddenly angry at Carly and Sam. Why do they care about him? Why should they care for someone who is so dirty? Why do they want to know? He doesn't want to talk about it. Can't they understand he wanted to be left alone?


	4. Chapter 4

Sam and Carly, mostly Carly, decided that they should have dinner at Freddie's apartment in hopes to see Freddie again. Or at least talk to him some more. It was at least almost a week since the encounter with Freddie, telling them they can't be friends anymore. It had hurt. Especially seeing the way Freddie is dressing, like he's depressed.

They walked across the hall, glad to see no reporters, and knocked on the door. Mrs. Benson opened the door and let them in, after telling them to leave their shoes in the hallway. Carly and Sam entered the apartment, then was lead into the kitchen. The three started to set the table, much to Sam's annoyance.

"So. How's Freddie?" Carly asked.

"Got him into therapy. Hope it works." Mrs. Benson said.

"Hope?" Sam asked, confused.

"He hardly talks about it. I'm not pressuring him into talking. It'll take time. I'm hoping therapy will help." Mrs. Benson answered.

"What are they doing here?" Freddie asked. He was wearing his black jacket, a Metallica concert t-shirt, blue pants, his skull and crossbones necklace, his bracelets and no shoes. He was just in his socks. He looked at his mom. "I hope you forgot to tell me, or you think it's some great surprise." Freddie looked at Carly and Sam. His eyes were void of no emotion, and slightly red, like he hasn't been getting some sleep.

"Freddie, they're here to eat dinner with us. Be glad it's not reporters." Mrs. Benson answered. The three of them sat at the table. Sam and Carly choosing to sit next to Freddie. Sam had sat a bit closer to Freddie, getting their food. Sam and Carly was a little cautious, taking a nibble of the food, finding out that it was actually good.

"So. When is Freddie going back to school?" Sam couldn't help but ask. She was getting tired of people coming up with stupid rumors, like Freddie should have called earlier, but didn't because he was involved with Amelia.

"Maybe in a few weeks." Mrs. Benson said and Freddie rolled his eyes. He didn't want to go back, but knew he had to. "I'm hoping that maybe you both, can walk Freddie to and from school."

"I don't want to walk with them. I rather take the bus." Freddie snapped.

"We've discussed this already." Mrs. Benson said to her son.

"Yeah, nub. Buses aren't safe for the Bensons." Sam said, which proved to be the wrong thing to say, as Freddie pushed his car back, then left the kitchen.

"I think it'll best if we left." Carly said, filling the awkward silence, that soon followed after Freddie left.

"Yes, I think it will be." Mrs. Benson answered and the two girls left the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam and Carly walked in Freddie's room without knocking. Freddie had gotten rid of nerdy stuff, and changed it. His old sheets was now red and black, his action figures was gone, and there was rock posters on his wall. Freddie was sitting on his bed, his knees to his chest, writing furiously in a blue notebook, that's resting against his knees. The door closed, breaking Freddie out of his trance.

"What the hell is your problem?" Sam demanded.

"My problem?" Freddie asked, almost scoffing. "I've been kidnapped for two years! All I could think about is how much life will be easier if I was dead! There was a shard of broken glass on the ground! All I kept thinking about was cutting myself! Would it make you feel better if I was dead?" Freddie almost shouted. He was all of a sudden angry, because Sam thinks he has a problem. He was kidnapped for two years, of course he will have a problem. "Will it?"

"What to know what I think? I think-" Sam started to say but was interrupted by Carly.

"Freddie. What happened? I spent two years envisioning different stuff. I want to-" Carly was interrupted this time by Freddie.

"You want to know? You're like the rest of them. They don't say anything, but look away. I can see it in their eyes. They want to know happened. They want to know why I didn't call earlier. They try to avoid the subject, but they want to know. They need to know. You want to know what happened in it detail? Fine!" Freddie snapped and tore through his notebook to find a page. He threw the notebook on the bed and then left his room. Carly and Sam sat on the bed. Carly picked up the blue notebook and then scooted closer to Sam to read.

**My therapist says I need to write down what happened even though it hurts to write. He says it also hurts keeping it in. Where did he get that, the back of a cereal box? Anyway, I think he's right. I might need to talk about it.**

**I was riding my skateboard to the skateboard park, after a fight with Carly and Sam. **

**I heard my name and I turned.**

**There was a strange woman in a car. She told me, she knew my mom, and that she was in the hospital.**

**I believed her.**

**I got in the car, and she gave me some strange metallic drink. I drank it of course, letting the sleep take over me.**

**Then. There. Was. The. Damn. Flashes.**

**The mattress in the corner of the room. **

**Being forced to get my picture taken, naked.**

**Getting forced to eat pink marshmallows.**

**The gun pointed at my bruised back. My temple. My neck.**

**Being gagged as I take a really cold shower, blood coming from where I don't know. The red coming from somewhere. Maybe my stomach, or side. Somewhere. I don't know. **

Sam and Carly finished reading the page of the notebook. Carly wiped some tears away, and Sam stood frozen in shock. Freddie had been through all of that, and she never knew. She was probably making Freddie feel worse with her being angry at him for no reason, but she couldn't help it.

_Freddie left me, I mean me and Carly._ Sam thought.

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><p>AN: The pink marshmallows isn't food if you're wondering. I also have like four finished chapters done already. I kind of wanted to update a day early.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: The pink marshmallows are actually boobs. I felt that Freddie would feel uncomfortable with describing female body parts in his journal and describing what happened to him. He did that, in case someone found it, read it, the person who found the journal would think that Amelia was forcing Freddie to eat food. Hope this clears it up a little.

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><p>It was two days after Sam and Carly found out about what happened to Freddie. Freddie wouldn't talk or see them again, and they're sure that Freddie was ashamed to see them. Then they realized that Freddie had to walk with them to school, so they were standing in the lobby of the apartment building.<p>

The teen walked down the stairs. He was wearing a Iron Maiden concert t-shirt, a dark blue button down shirt that's open, his black jacket, the skull and crossbones necklace, his bracelets that he always wears, and black pants. Freddie has a black backpack, one of the backpack straps strung on his left shoulder. Freddie looked at Carly and Sam.

"Just because we're walking together, doesn't mean that we're friends again." Freddie told them, and walked past them. Carly and Sam followed behind him.

* * *

><p>The three walked down the hallway, people looking at three, and some bumping into them, mostly trying to get to Freddie, as if to see if he's really there or not.<p>

"What us to walk you to your classes?" Carly asked.

"He's been going here before what happened. I'm sure he can walk himself to his own classes." Sam replied in a snappy tone. Freddie just stared at her, as if she grew fur and antlers, then charged down the hallway, ramming people into lockers. Carly looked at Sam.

"Sam." Carly said annoyed, and then placed her hands on her hips, glaring at the blonde. _Can't she be nicer to Freddie?_

"Well..." The blonde replied, trying to think of something to say. She was a little used to Carly trying to put guilt in her.

"It's OK. I'm sure, I know where all the classrooms are." Freddie said, and shrugged. He left up down the stairs.

* * *

><p>Carly had managed to drag Sam to Freddie's table, he's sitting at. It was empty except for Freddie sitting there. He looked up startled at the two girls, who seemed to plow their way into the table.<p>

_This poor table._ Freddie thought and stared at the girls who seemed to stare back. He was uncomfortable. They know what happened. Are they thinking that he's dirty, too?

"How was your first day back?" Carly asked, trying to fill in the awkward silence, that filled the table.

"It was OK." Freddie answered, casually. "Even though the teachers piled a lot of homework on me. I'm sitting there, thinking, 'I've been gone for two years and they're treating it like it was a vacation'. People kept looking at me, like I'm a ghost or something."

Freddie was all of a sudden angry inside at the people who was staring at him like he was an ghost. Freddie wasn't sure why he was angry all the time, but he guessed it had to do with him being kidnapped.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry this chapter is so short. I think the next chapter will probably be longer. In a couple of chapters, things will probably be a little bit longer.


	7. Chapter 7

It was around 5 in the evening, when Carly got the call that Freddie was at the park alone. Carly along with Sam, got to the park around 5:45, and saw Freddie sitting on the park bench, with his knees to his chest. He had his arms around his knees, and looked like he'd been crying. Freddie was wearing this time, a red jacket, his bracelets, a Metallica concert t-shirts, and blue pants, being held up with caution tape, as a belt. Freddie looked up, at the two girls, with tear streaked tears.

"What do you want dork?" Sam said and Freddie just glared at them.

"They're all the same. They want to know. They need to know. I can't tell them. I don't want to. I can't tell." Freddie said, then placed his head between his arms.

"Who's the same?" Carly asked.

"People at school. They're just like the cops." Freddie's muffled voice came out. Freddie looked up at the two girls. "They want to know how many times I've been under her body. They want to know if I been burned, tied down, beaten, yelled at, insulted, and even if I was shackled to pipes." Freddie's voice started to crack after the word 'burn'. "They want to know if I almost became the star of child porn." Freddie wasn't sure why he was dumping all of this on Carly and Sam, but guessed it was because if he trusted them with it. "All of it, is true." Freddie buried his face between his arms again, and started to cry. After what Freddie's been through, he guessed he deserves to cry.

"Man up Benson!" Sam ordered and jumped back at the glare Freddie was giving her. He wanted to punch the living daylights out of her.

"Would you cry after what you've been through for two years? What if it was a guy raping you? What if you've been burned, beaten, insulted, yelled at, tied down, shackled to pipes, and almost became a star of child porn? Would you cry? I bet not, because you aren't a human, because you don't have have any emotions!" Freddie shouted and then left the park. Sam just stood there, in shock, and then shook her head, as if it would help get rid of what Freddie said. Sam looked at Carly.

"What did I do?" Sam asked and Carly looked at her blonde best friend. She rolled her eyes and then left the park to. She knows Freddie goes to the skateboard park if he's angry or upset..

* * *

><p>It was around 8:17 when Freddie had returned home, when Carly and Sam heard Mrs. Benson yelling in happiness, then at her son, for leaving the house without the two girls, and then heard Freddie shout 'mom' which they guessed that Mrs. Benson was hugging her son. Maybe a little to tight. Carly and Sam was sitting on the couch in the living room, hearing everything, and then heard a door slam shut.<p>

"Poor guy." Carly said and looked at the floor. She couldn't forget what Freddie told them at the park. How he was raped, beaten, insulted, tied down, burned, shackled, and almost became a star of child porn. Carly wasn't sure how she would live through it all, if she was in his place.

"He'll get over it." Sam said, dismissing what happened, and Carly stared in shock at what Sam said.

"No he won't! He was traumatized, he was gone for two years! Going through a lot! Place yourself in his shoes! Would you get over it? I wouldn't! Good night!" Carly shouted and then went upstairs. Sam was sitting on the couch in silence.

"It's only 8:17!" Sam called to her best friend.

"I don't care!" Carly shouted back.

_What is this? Yell at Sam Day?_ Sam thought to herself and then stood up for the couch, wondering if she should follow Carly or go home.

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><p>AN: Sorry, if Sam is being insensitive or something. I'm not trying to make Sam out of character. I think this is what Sam will be like if this happened or something. Do you think the characters are out of character? More backstory to what happened to Freddie.


	8. Chapter 8

Freddie was at Carly's apartment, talking to Spencer. Freddie was wearing a long sleeved shirt with black and red strips and a Ozzy Osbourne concert t shirt, black pants, his bracelets and the skull and crossbones necklace. Freddie wanted to catch up with things with Spencer.

"Spencer! Who was at the door?" Carly asked from the top of the stairs and then walked down the stairs, then noticed Freddie sitting at the counter. The boy turned on his chair and took one look at Carly, then turned to Spencer. Freddie then noticed that Sam soon followed Carly and Freddie glared at the blonde. She angers him so much, and he just wants to punch the shit out of her for whatever she has done to him in the past and the present.

"Look the nub is here. What do you want?" Sam replied and Carly turned to her blonde friend.

"Sam!" Carly scolded and Freddie turned to Spencer, who just stared at the two girls, then turned his attention back to Freddie. Carly went to the fridge and Sam went to the couch.

"We'll finish our conversation tomorrow." Freddie said and stood up to leave. Sam looked over her shoulder at Freddie.

"Hey dork where are you running off to? Your mommy?" Sam asked and then turned back to the TV. Freddie walked over to the couch, grabbed the top, and pushed forward, causing Sam to tumble off the couch. "WHOA!" She shrieked, causing Carly and Spencer to look over at the two in shock. They were mostly shocked because of what Freddie did. "What was that for?"

"For being such a bitch! I have problems and you have to make fun of them! If it's really serious like what happened and you have to make fun of me! I'm done with you and your shit!" Freddie shouted and then left. Sam was confused and slightly terrified of Freddie.

She can tell because her heart is beating so loud that the people upstairs and downstairs could hear it. She was afraid because Freddie looked like he was about to beat her up. Sam was in shock, so she couldn't do or say anything. Why did he react like that? Why didn't Freddie ignore her like he usually does? Was all of the angry that he held in, finally gotten way to hard to hold in?

* * *

><p>Freddie was standing in the bathroom in his apartment and took off his jacket. He took off his shirts, then looked at the bruises and burns covering his arms. He looked at the circle like bruises covering his wrists. He remembered them clearly.<p>

Flashback

_Fourteen year old Freddie was thrown onto the ground in front of a wall, and he was lucky that the sudden impact didn't break any bones in his body. Amelia pinned him on the ground, her legs holding Freddie's sides down, and she grabbed Freddie's arms, putting them above his head._

"_You've been a bad boy Freddie. You have to be punished." Amelia said and she proceeded to pick Freddie up, then push him into the wall. She pinned Freddie's arms to the wall with one arm and put the shackles on him. Amelia left and Freddie looked up at the pipes that he was shackled to._

End flashback

Freddie shook his head. He didn't want to even remember that part. He turned to the side and saw a scar about 12 inches on his side, and ending on his stomach.

Flashback

_Freddie looked at the pipes and then Amelia entered the room again, holding a knife. Freddie's eyes widened._

This is how it ends, me dying, in a horrible painful way._ Freddie thought and then Amelia walked to Freddie, holding the knife to his side. Amelia rose Freddie's shirt up and then proceeded to press the blade to Freddie's side. The red warm liquid oozing down his side, at a fast pace, and Freddie tried hard not to cry out, as Amelia drove the knife downward on his side._

End flashback

Freddie winced at the memory. He traced the scar. He remembered getting forced to take a cold shower, the blood leaking out in the water, turning the water red, and the gag in his mouth, muffling his screams of pain at the feeling of the cold water hitting the cut. Amelia holding him back from jumping out of the water.

Freddie had wondered where the blood was coming from and had trouble trying to look, because every time he turned to the left, his side had hurt.

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><p>AN: I feel like this chapter should end here. A little bit more back story to what happened. I felt like there should be a little bit more backstory to what happened.


	9. Chapter 9

No one's POV

It was Mrs. Benson's idea that Carly and Sam should spend the night at Freddie's apartment while, she works late. Freddie realized that Mrs. Benson doesn't want her son to stay home alone, because she's worried that someone would break in and kidnap her son again. Freddie had pleaded and even begged that he didn't want the two girls to stay over at his apartment. But Carly, and grudgingly Sam agreed to it. So now Freddie was laying awake staring at the blue lava lamp on his desk that serves as a nightlight for him.

Freddie was now scared of the dark, because if he wakes up and it's really dark in his room, he'd probably think that he's back in that room, so if he wakes up to see the lava lamp, he'll know he's in his own room, and he's fine. Freddie looked over seeing Sam and Carly sleeping in sleeping bags. Freddie sighed and closed his eyes, trying to push back the images of his past that he didn't want to relive.

* * *

><p>Sam wasn't sure when she woke up, and what time it is, but she couldn't stop thinking about Freddie's notebook. She wasn't sure why she was obsessing over it, but she just wanted to at least sneak a peek and see what happened to Freddie.<p>

She was sure there was more to Freddie's kidnapping, and she looked over at Carly. Then she looked over at Freddie sleeping and her eyes traveled to the blue lava lamp, the lava in the lamp floating up, then sliding down. Sam's eyes traveled to the blue notebook on his desk, and then she silently stood up. She tiptoed to the desk and plucked it off the desk. She opened it to a random page, then started to read by the light of the lava lamp.

**I think that it's kind of a sick twisted chess game right?**

**I'm the pawn. The one that's moving, getting my life destroyed.**

**The squares are like the steps towards the end of my life.**

**She's the player. The one taking hold of my life and forcing me to do stuff that I don't want to.**

**The opponents, the red squares. They're the obstacles that she forces me to take, do things that I don't want to, what I try to avoid. **

**I try to avoid everything, but she gets what she wants.**

**How she does it?**

**Well she whispers the name in my ear.**

**Sam.**

**One name.**

**Two syllables.**

**How can one name make me do things I don't want to?**

**When she tries to force me to take my picture naked, she would say that name to get me to do it.**

Sam heard a snort and then someone turning over in their sleep. A mattress, slightly squeaky and then the blonde closed the notebook. She put it back on the desk and then ran over to her sleeping bag. She jumped on top of it, grunting at the sudden impact of her stomach hitting the floor, through the sleeping bag. Sam managed to fight her into the sleeping bag and quickly closed her eyes, hoping she appeared to be sleeping.

She couldn't seem to get her mind wrapped around the fact that Amelia, used her name to get Freddie to stuff he didn't want to do. But why did Freddie only respond to her name? How come Amelia didn't use Carly's name? Sam wasn't sure, but she didn't want to ask Freddie that, she mostly didn't want Freddie to know she read his notebook. She wasn't sure what Freddie will do. Would he hit her? The look on Freddie's face told her, that he would.

* * *

><p>AN: A little bit more back story to what happened to Freddie. I think that Freddie would be scared of the dark, due to what happened to him. I'm sure Mrs. Benson would be scared to leave Freddie home alone, since she finally got her son back after being gone for two years.


	10. Chapter 10

"Give me some chips Fredhead." Sam said, about to reach in the yellow bag, that has regular potato chips in it, but Freddie pulled away.

"No. The last time I let you have some chips, you took the whole bag, shoved me to the ground, and laughed about it." Freddie said, and rolled the bag up. Sam snickered at the memory.

"Oh yeah." Sam said and Freddie put the chips in his locker. He knew Sam would somehow break into his locker and steal the chips anyway. Freddie rolled his eyes. He could have sworn that he told them that they can't be friends with them, but somehow they somehow decided not to let him go that easy.

* * *

><p>Freddie was now out on the fire escape at his apartment, he was thinking, about the kidnapping. How much it changed him, how that lady was trying to steal his innocence, how she made him take pictures naked, tied him down, burned him, shackled him, and raped him.<p>

How he found out that she had done the same to other guys, and found out she was going to kill him, by saying he needed a brother. How he managed to get out of the basement, stole some sleep medicine, crushed the pills, and put it in whatever she was drinking. Then managed to sneak out of the house after stealing quarters, went to a payphone, and called the police. He remembered that day clearly.

Flashback

_He was standing at a payphone, wearing a black long sleeved shirt with gray sleeves, with bloodstains on it, blue pants, that also had bloodstains on it. His hands was bloodstained, and his left temple was bleeding, leaving trails of blood on his cheek. The tips of his hair was stained with some of his blood._

_Some people stopped and stared. He was sure he looked like he was a victim of a car crash, and was trying to stop his blood or something. He put quarters in the payphone and dialed the number. He pressed the phone to his ear._

"_9-1-1 what's your emergency?" The operator asked and Freddie felt a wave of dread. He was scared, happy, and nauseous at the same time. What was he supposed to say? Freddie hung up and took a deep breath, to settle his stomach. He felt some people stop and stare. _

_Yeah, he would to, if there was a teen covered in blood and standing at a payphone. He then put the quarters in the phone and dialed the number again, he wasn't going to give up. It was his only chance at getting out alive. He put the phone to his ear again, and the same lady asked the same question._

"_My name is Freddie Benson, and I'm standing in front of Nellie's Restaurant. I was the kidnapped victim two years ago." He stopped and thought about it. How weird is it that he only thought of calling today for help, when could of done that three days ago. How weird is it, that people probably thought he was dead, and they realized he was alive. He heard the woman telling him to stay where he's at and don't walk off with any strangers. _

_The irony of that sentence. He's sure, he's looking pretty strange right now, and what stranger would want a teenager covered in blood anyway? Freddie put the phone up and then wiped his hands on his pants, as if hoping it will get the blood off._

End flashback

Freddie was on both knees on the fire escape, holding onto the rungs of the fire escape wall. He was looking out over the city. He faintly heard sirens, and he was just staring. He had found out how Amelia knew and his friends. She was watching him all the time.

Flashback

_Freddie was at the skateboard park, talking to some friends and noticed a woman with brown hair and hazy eyes watching him._

_Two days later when he was the baseball diamond, and hit the ball, then managed to run to second base, he noticed the same woman from the skateboard park sitting in the stands watching them, play. Freddie hoped at least it was a coincidence._

_Another two days later, Freddie, Carly, and Sam was at a small cafe, teasingly throwing food at each other, Freddie noticed the same woman sitting on top of the bar stools, reading a menu, but Freddie seemed to notice that she was actually watching them._

_Another two days later, Freddie, Carly, and Sam was walking down a pier, but Freddie seemed to notice the same woman who was watching him all this time, sitting on a bench holding a camera and seemed to be taking random pictures, but Freddie noticed that she was actually taking pictures of him._

_And then finally she managed to make her move and kidnapped him._

End flashback

Freddie wasn't sure why, but Carly and Sam never believed him that when he said that a woman seemed to be stalking him. Carly and Sam thought he was being paranoid. Sam had said, 'what woman would want to stalk you? Maybe she's stalking someone else, that happens to be everywhere we go.' Now that Freddie thought about it, Carly and Sam believed him, when he was kidnapped by her.

"You believe me now, don't you?" Freddie whispered to himself, as the wind blew, making the whisper go lost in the wind.

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><p>AN: I kind of think that Carly and Sam would believe Freddie's being paranoid about a woman stalking him. Sam would at least think that Freddie's unappealing to have some woman stalk him.


	11. Chapter 11

Freddie was laying awake in his bed, staring at the blue glow on his ceiling, caused by his lava lamp. He was trying hard to think of something else other than what Amelia did to him. Of course his mind decided to betray him when Freddie finally closed his eyes to sleep.

Nightmare

_Freddie was under Amelia's body again, as she pinned him there. She was touching his arms gently, and Freddie was trying to shove Amelia off of him._

"_No please. I promise not to try and leave again." Freddie pleaded. He didn't want this and he would never will. He felt Amelia slap him and he tried not to flinch at the impact. He went through the same with Sam, when she hit him. But Amelia seemed to slap harder than he was used to._

"_Sorry, baby, didn't mean to slap you that hard." Amelia said in Freddie's ear and the boy guessed he flinched, then felt Amelia's lips on his cheek, as if kissing it would make him feel better. _

_Freddie tried not to let that affect him and felt Amelia's hands run down his sides, over the cut that Freddie got as 'punishment', then over to the button of his pants. Freddie tried to wiggle away, not wanting any of this._

End nightmare

Freddie felt someone shaking him awake and then sat up gasping for breath. He looked around, the black room scared, thinking he ended up back in that room, and then noticed his lava lamp. He took a deep breath glad that he didn't end up back in the room, with Amelia. Carly, Sam, and his mom was standing at his bed looking worried.

"Are you okay?" Carly asked and Freddie realized he needed to go to the bathroom but not exactly use it. Freddie ran into the bathroom and then closed the door. He leaned over the sink and everything he had eaten came back up. Freddie wiped his mouth off with a towel and washed his mouth out with some water. He went back into his room, then looked at his friend and his mom.

"What do you mean 'are you okay'?" Freddie asked.

"I heard you screaming 'no, stop,' and then I came to check on you." Mrs. Benson said and then Freddie looked at the two girls.

"What about them?" Freddie asked, pointing to Carly and Sam.

"I'm not sure, I think they wanted to check out what was going on." Mrs. Benson said. Freddie knew his mom was lying, she called Carly and Sam because she was worried.

"You don't have to lie to me, I know you called them because you were worried about me." Freddie said, looking at the ground. He didn't want to mention that he was having a nightmare about Amelia again. He guessed the therapy he was taking, was helping him a little. He was sure he was going to need years of it, to help him overcome what he'd been through.

"Oh." Mrs. Benson said and Freddie shrugged. He knew his mom was worrying, because he was kidnapped. He would be worried if his child had been kidnapped to.

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><p>AN: I felt like this chapter should end here. I had to put Nightmare instead of Dream. That's what it mostly is anyway.


	12. Chapter 12

Carly and Sam decided that they should celebrate that Freddie was home for a month, after getting away from Amelia. Spencer was making Spaghetti Tacos and the two girls was watching TV. They heard that Amelia was going to testify against Freddie, so they were wondering how he was going to take it.

Then the news appeared. It appeared some women killed Amelia in prison, but then Freddie walked in. Carly decided that she should hide the TV from his view. For some strange reason, Carly didn't want Freddie to know that Amelia was murdered.

"Hey Freddie. I think Spencer needs your help in the kitchen." Carly lied and the boy just gave a weird look. He knew she was hiding something. Sam then proceeded to catch on what Carly was doing.

"Yeah. I think he said something about meatballs." Sam lied and Freddie gave her a strange look to. He wasn't sure what their problem was or why they were trying to hide the TV from him. He managed to get a glimpse at what they were watching, finding out that Amelia was murdered. Freddie just stared blankly at the TV, and the two girls knew that they failed at trying to get Freddie to leave the living room.

"She's dead." Freddie whispered. He was trying to get his mind to sink in the fact that she was dead. He wasn't sure why someone would kill Amelia or why would they do that. "She's dead." Freddie mumbled again. He was trying to admit it, out loud.

"She was stabbed repeatedly with a crudely sharped spoon." The news woman announced and Freddie all of a sudden had the urge to throw up. That's what Freddie did, he barely made it to the bathroom sink and then let everything out, in the sink. He then sank to his knees on the bathroom floor. He was getting over his shock.

He didn't have to live in fear anymore. She can't hurt and rape him anymore, now that she was dead. He felt something drip down his cheeks. Was it sweat or tears of joy? He wasn't sure and then felt a hand on his shoulder. Freddie jumped back and then noticed that it was Sam.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked.

_At least she didn't insult me._ Freddie thought. "Yeah. Just in shock, that's all." Freddie shrugged, then realized something. "Why are you treating me the same?"

"No matter what happened to with Amelia you're still the same person. Just in different clothes." Sam explained. "Kidnapped or not, you're still the same inside. Just afraid to show it." Freddie looked at Sam. "Everyone gets through something at their own pace, and they show it in different ways."

Sam rubbed Freddie's back and then proceeded to leave the bathroom. Freddie smiled, at least Sam cared for him, under all that hate and meat loving exterior of her's.

* * *

><p>AN: I'm not sure where the idea of killing of Amelia came from, because I never really killed off a character before, so here you go.


	13. Chapter 13

Carly and Sam decided to hang out at the park with Freddie, but seeing Freddie skateboarding again, since he had major bad luck with skateboarding, was a shocker. Freddie stopped and then set it on the ground, the way that his skateboard was found, when Freddie was kidnapped, by Amelia.

"What's going on?" Freddie asked. He was curious. What was so important, that they had to come to the park? Freddie looked around and shuddered at the memory of getting kidnapped. He was started to loosen up on his nightmares, and became recurring. He was lucky that he has a therapist to help him get through it, but he also had his friends, to help him through it too.

"Nothing. Just wanted to hang out with our friend." Carly answered, and looked at Sam, who seemed to be annoyed.

"Oh." Freddie replied, he seemed kind of sad.

"Are you okay, nub?" Sam asked.

"Fine." Freddie said, shrugging. "Just feeling kind of sad, for those other boys, that never made it out of Amelia's clutches alive." Freddie wasn't sure why, because he never meet them, but he was in their place. He knew what they went through, he knew what they've seen, what they felt, their fear that he felt, and the feeling of her hands on his body. "Wonder what their parents are feeling, finding out that their children are dead."

Carly nodded sadly. She didn't know what Freddie was going through, and to be honest, she didn't want to. She didn't want to know what Freddie went through if their roles was reversed.

Sam wasn't sure what she would do if she was in Freddie's place. Would she hold her head high, would she be able to admit that she was raped? Would she be able to admit that she became the star of child porn? Would she shut down emotionally?

"I wouldn't know what I would do if I found out that my child was dead for a long time." Carly admitted.

_Why must people do stuff like this?_ Freddie thought to himself. At least he didn't shut down. He was lucky he had friends like Carly and Sam to help through it.

He was lucky they got him to open up, before he shut down. Two years in that hell, he was lucky he got out alive. All it did was to take a phone call, a plan, and holding onto the hope that his friends were worried about him, to get him out of Amelia's house.

Freddie took the chance and hugged his friends. He was thankful for friends like Carly and Sam. Carly was taken aback, but hugged him back. Sam hugged Freddie back, wondering if she should give him a wedgie, but decided against it, since he got kidnapped, by her bullying.

* * *

><p>AN: This is the last chapter for this fanfic. The next chapter will have a trailer for my newest fanfic, iTwins.


	14. Trailer

A/N: This is the trailer for my fanfic iTwins.

**Bold:** Announcer voice

Regular: Scenes

* * *

><p><strong>One family,<strong>

Scene shows Freddie, a boy who looks like him, a mom, and a dad randomly getting in a group.

**One secret,**

Scene shows Freddie and the boy sitting on the couch, watching the news, then they both started gaping in shock.

Scene changes to Freddie looking at Carly and Sam.

"I can't tell you, if I do, I will have to move again." Freddie said.

**One past,**

Scene changes to Freddie and the boy who looks like him, getting hit by a car,

**One brother,**

Scene changes to Freddie and the boy who looks like him talking in the hallway. Carly and Sam walked up.

"Who's this?" Carly asked.

"My twin brother Kyle." Freddie answered. He looked uncomfortable.

**Will it destroy their friendship?**

Scene changes to Carly, Sam, and Freddie arguing.

"I couldn't tell! I probably have to move because of it!" Freddie shouted at them.

"Still! You should have told!" Sam shouted back, and Freddie turned to the door.

"Where are you going?" Carly asked.

"Somewhere that's not here!" Freddie shouted and then left that apartment.

**Who is Freddie Benson?**

Scene changes to Freddie and Kyle sitting in separate interrogation rooms. A woman handed Freddie a file, and he took it off the table, opening it.

"You will now on be called Fredward Benson. He also goes by the name Freddie. He's a really smart guy. His parents are divorced. So you don't have to mention his dad. This is your cover. Own it, learn it, live it." The woman said.

* * *

><p>AN: How is this for a fanfic? The fanfic, will be up soon.


End file.
